A ‘No-Bidaai’ Wedding? The story of Riha Chakraborty

Riha Chakraborty

why did She deny to celebrate the bidaai ritual?

Well guys, it is more than a month of my wedding and I am free enough to let you all know about something special that had happened on 12th dec, 2018. Ofcourse I got married to my best friend on the same date but there is more to this date.

We have often talked about gender equality, feminism, progressive stuffs and all.

But do we really practice them in our real lives too?

Let me talk about ‘bidaai’ ritual in hindu marriage. I have seen some dozens of so called ‘feminists’ talking about their idea of feminism, without really implementing the practices in their own life.

‘Bidaai’, I feel is one such thing that we must reflect upon.
First, what is ‘bidaai’?

In short, we can say, it is a ritual in which the newly wed bride takes some grain in her hands and throws it backward while moving forward, with her husband, showing that she is paying off all the ‘karz'(interest) of her parental home, and going to her in laws to start her life with them.
Objection, but just think, can we really pay off all the things that our parents did for us? It is a clear NO.

Secondly, ‘bidaai’ is one ritual that says that the bride is leaving her parental home and family, to start newly with her in laws.
Sorry, but we, as 21st century girls, can never agree with this, as most of us are independent, self sufficient females, who are strong enough to earn on their own and take care of their families, without a man’s help.
We are not mere object that gets transferred from one place to another, to satisfy others’ needs.

‘Bidaai’ definitely is a very wrong ritual that is still being followed without any introspection.
Because, a girl cannot just get away without looking after her own parents and only thinking about her in laws. I am no where propagating that we should not take care of our in laws but I am just saying that a girl can never leave her own parents too. Expecting this from a girl is grossly wrong.
So, I had decided and discussed this with my parents and sister, that no matter what, there will be no ‘bidaai’ at my wedding.

After a lot of discussion, they finally agreed but this was not known to my relatives although, and my parents were quite scared that what will they say!

On 12th dec, 2018, I got married to my best friend, who understands things more than I expect him to.

13th dec, 2018, was the day when that ‘bidaai’ was supposed to be done, but guess what, I had good food instead, gossiped woth my cousins, clicked many pictures with people, walked with my husband to the place where my in laws were halting to talk with them too and got back home to have dinner with everyone.

There was no bidaai, and no one even asked about it. You know why, because people were busy enjoying themselves. They were more interested on making me feel good and not on stupidly following some ritual just in the name of tradition.

So there was no ‘bidaai’, and hence, no photo or video wherein am crying bidding my parents bye! I was a happy bride all throughout, and a modern age girl who can take responsibilities of both my parents and in laws, and still bring on change for the betterment. 🙂

Promote real progress, do not just protest.

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